he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
In other news, I just burned my penis
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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