My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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