We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
