I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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