i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
