So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
