Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
