There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well I just put wine in my tea
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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