But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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