it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
