...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
