It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
