I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
