...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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