Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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