Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
