Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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