it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
This baby is an asshole
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
