yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
