Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
