yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
