Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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