Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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