ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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