took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
