please come you make the beer taste better
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
