ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
