I can't watch pbs sober anymore
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
