ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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