I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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