Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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