I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
