We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
