I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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