I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
4 words: hood of his car
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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