dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
