Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
