did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
