are you still at the devil's house?
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I wish my penis had an off switch
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
This baby is an asshole
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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