You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
