I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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