Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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