Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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