He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
