Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
