Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
