He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
