I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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