it hurts more in the daytime
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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