Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
