I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
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