You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
