So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
This house was built for laser tag.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
