It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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